Difference Between Intention and Competence
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTENTION AND COMPETENCE – Intention is what one aspires for (our natural acceptance), and competence is the ability to fulfill the aspiration. In the table below, ask yourself the questions that are given to the left, under ” Intention, and if your answer is ‘ Yes ‘, put a tick mark next to it. Then, repeat the same thing for the questions to the right side, under ‘ Competence ‘. Wherever your answer is no, or you have a doubt and are not sure of your answer, put a question mark.
Indention(Natural acceptance) | Competence (Ability to fulfill) | ||
---|---|---|---|
1. | I want to be happy | 1. | I am always happy |
2. | I want to make others happy | 2. | I make others always happy |
3. | The other wants to be happy | 3. | The other is always happy |
4. | The other wants to make me happy | 4. | The other makes me always happy |
What do we really want to be | What we are |
We have populated the questions with answers below with tentative answers.
Indention(Natural acceptance) | Competence (Ability to fulfill) | ||
---|---|---|---|
√ | I want to be happy | ? | I am always happy |
√ | I want to make others happy | ? | I make others always happy |
√ | The other wants to be happy | ? | The other is always happy |
√ | The other wants to make me happy | ? | The other makes me always happy |
What do we really want to be | What we are |
You can verify this yourself, you cannot have a problem in the relationship, unless you have ended up doubting the intention of the other person, no matter how close you are to them. For example, assume you are walking on your college campus and your close friend walks. You look at him and smile, but he barely notices you and keeps walking, with his head down. You feel angry and disappointed that he did not acknowledge your presence. You tend to assume that he wants to ignore you.
[br]
Later on, you find out that he was disturbed since he had lost his wallet. You immediately feel alright and you are not angry. What happened here? You doubted your friend’s intention. It is not that he intended to or wanted to ignore you, only that he was preoccupied with something else. However, you doubted his intention, and for that instant, you felt a sense of opposition for him, not a feeling of the relationship.
[br]
When you found out later on that he had lost his wallet, you immediately realized that it was not his intention to ignore you, only his competence was lacking at that moment. In this example, we can clearly see a problem arising in you due to doubt about intention and disappearing when the doubt on intention is gone. This problem in you creates a conflict with your own natural acceptance, and at that very instant, you are unhappy.
[br]
If only you had known before that at the level of intention, your friends, and all others wish only well for you, whereas, their competence to fulfill the intention was lacking, you could have been saved from this unhappiness and conflict in yourself. You can verify this for yourself in numerous examples at home, outside the home, and in society. When we explore our natural acceptance we find that we want to make others happy and ourselves happy. This is our intention. This can be verified by each one of us. This is also true of the other.
[br]
The other also always wants to make me happy and him / her happy. This is also his / her intention. My natural acceptance is the same as the natural acceptance of others. i.e. in a relationship, the other’s intention, and the other’s natural acceptance is the same as mine. This unwavering confidence in ourselves about our own intention and the other’s feeling of trust. Having trust means we are assured at all times about the other person in the relationship, no matter what the other’s competence is. Trust comes from having this right understanding of the Intention of every human being.
[br]
When I have the right understanding, I end up becoming an aid to others. I help them improve their competence and help them also to have the right understanding. Thus, with the right understanding, not only am I fine at all times, but I am also working to help others also be like me.
[br]
We can see that just as our competence is lacking and we fail to always make others happy. the other’s competence is also lacking, which is why they fail to always make us happy in a relationship. But when the other fails, we very quickly doubt their intention, which is what causes problems in the relationship.
Importance of Trust in Human Relationships
Trust or Vishwas is the foundational value in the relationship. ” To be assured that each human being inherently wants oneself and the other to be happy and prosperous ” is known as trust. Having faith in others and believing them. Trust is the expectation of people that they can rely on our word. It is built through integrity and consistency in relationships.
[br]
To keep trust on our self and others, we have to pay attention to our intentions and understand if we or the other person is not able to do benefit, it is because we are lacking competence. Trust is the result of the right understanding of the intention of all the human beings around us. This trust helps to improve our competence in others and in ourselves.
[br]
Also, read